


what the headlights show to me (all I can see)

by arielchan



Series: on the run [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Captain America (2011), DCU, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-30
Updated: 2011-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-28 11:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arielchan/pseuds/arielchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Dick, together again. In which a battle is fought, pizza is consumed, people run around partially undressed, and dammit, Tony, they're teenagers not stray cats!</p>
            </blockquote>





	what the headlights show to me (all I can see)

**Author's Note:**

> Betas: civilbloodshed and doitninetimes on LJ yet again!
> 
> Characterization for the Titans is bastardized from a combination of comics Titans, comics Young Justice, and the YJ cartoon.
> 
> Titles and series name from the song "We're on the Run" by Gold Motel.

When Tony Stark had found out Bruce Wayne was Batman, he’d mostly been disappointed. No, that’s not entirely true. First, he’d been pleased. The Bruce he’d known before had been something of a kindred spirit. Finding out they were also in the hero boat together should have increased those feelings, maybe edged them toward a real friendship, but then S.H.I.E.L.D. had actually sent Tony to work with the Batman (an assignment he may, in fact, have volunteered for) and it all went wrong somewhere around, well...

“Too slow,” Tony crowed, shooting up from the ground over Killer Croc’s head, then spinning to blast him lightly in the back. “C’mon, I have shoes made from your cousins that are more dangerous than you!”

Tony flipped back around to tag Croc with the repulsors again, but Batman had already thrown a weighted net around Croc. Before Tony could stop, the beam zapped through the mesh, and Croc used the opening to tear through and make a break. Batman turned, kicking Iron Man directly in the arc reactor and sending him crashing into the nearest wall. “Stop screwing around,” he growled, “and leave me alone. _Robin_ is more mature than you. Go back to New York if you want to play.”

The Bruce Wayne that Tony had known was a lie, and the real Bruce Wayne was just another of a long line of heroes that made Tony feel irresponsible and inadequate.

Worse than the lie that was Bruce Wayne, though, was knowing that he had turned that kid- that bright-eyed, eager _child_ that Tony had met- into a part of all this. Tony knew there were teens with powers out there, that there were more every day, but that didn’t mean he had to like it, especially when it was a kid without powers following his _legal guardian_ into this.

After that, Tony didn’t like Bruce Wayne anymore. He avoided Gotham, and he avoided any more assignments to work with the Justice League and their associates, so while Hawkeye, Widow, and Cap were off in Metropolis helping out the League, Tony was in Manhattan on Stark Industries business. He was bored.

He’d had a dull meeting with a bunch of dim-witted executives who couldn’t talk to him without stuttering, and he had his evening tied up with a dinner meeting with more executives and their hawkish wives, but that was still two hours away, so now he had to occupy his own mind somehow.

So he went shopping for electronics.

Tony liked electronics stores because they had absolutely nothing that impressed him, but sometimes companies were very bad at keeping their products secure, so it was easy for Tony to have a little harmless fun with them, and every once in a while he found something he could take home and manipulate into greatness, like that corded phone receiver that he bought for Steve to hook into his iPhone so he’d feel like he was talking into a phone instead of a cold slice of brick.

Tony was temporarily amusing himself by using the phone in his pocket to flip channels on every television in the building, baffling the store employees, when he caught the news report.

There was a monster in the East River. It was huge, purple, and slimy. It had tentacles, and four eyes that Tony could see on the film footage, and no obvious mouth.

Huge, slimy alien monsters were Tony’s favorite. There was usually no human element to worry about with them, just an obvious danger to take out, and when you took them out they went “BOOM” and then “SPLAT”, which was good fun no matter how you looked at it.

Tony figured since he was in the area, he’d get the jump on things before Fury called him in. In a few minutes he was in the back of his car, in the portable Iron Man suit again, and then on his way out to the river.

When he got in sight of the Purple People Eater, he realized someone else had beat him to it - several someones, in fact. Several very small someones.

There was a girl in some sort of short-skirted junior patriot getup flying circles around the creature with a length of rope, a boy in red zipping around in front of and sometimes on top of the thing, and a third kid standing in the water, waving a trident. As he hovered, observing, a fourth little caped figure appeared, and began scaling up the side of the thing, springing over and across tentacles before flipping onto the creature’s head. Unbelievably, he paused there to do a handstand before springing off over the thing’s backside and diving beautifully into the river.

About the time he hit the water with barely a splash, something flashed and smoked on the monster’s head, and it started to wail, apparently possessing a mouth after all in the vicinity of its stomach, which was sort of an efficient design.

Intrigued, Tony swooped in closer, blasting off a beam into one of the thing’s eyes before landing on the shore. “Hey kids,” he yelled. “Where’s the grown-up around here?”

The one with the cape came trudging out of the river, shaking water out of his hair. “I’m the leader of this team, Iron Man.” Tony peered at him, piecing together the costume in his head - cape, mask, bright colors, tiny little green pants, big fat letter “R” over his heart, weapon in his hand shaped like a bat, and...

“ _Robin_!” Tony grinned, wrapping an arm across the kid’s shoulders and squeezing him maybe a bit too tight. “Oh my God, kid, I haven’t seen you in, what, four years? You’re bigger! And flippy! How’s school? How come I never hear from you?”

Robin coughed and pushed futilely at Tony’s arm until he finally let go. “I’m good, okay. And yes, I grew. Teenagers do that. I’m also, um... little busy?” He gestured behind him, where the other kids were still poking and mostly irritating the Purple Meany.

“Right, alien guy,” Tony said, smacking his palm into his helmet. “We should get that first. Hey, you have any more of those little bombs you put on its head earlier?”

“Yeah, I have-”

“Great, just a second,” Tony said, grabbing Robin by his armpits and flying over to the creature. “Hold on tight and be ready.” Robin immediately looped his left arm across Tony’s shoulders to hold himself, and Tony blasted the monster in one of its three remaining eyes with another repulsor beam. The thing opened its mouth to screech, and before Tony could say the word Robin was already tossing a beeping device straight into its gaping, toothless maw.

The couple of working eyes the thing had left blinked in confusion, and its tentacles all flew to its mouth, but then the beeping suddenly stopped.

BOOM.

SPLAT!

While they were all futilely wiping the resulting purple slime from their uniforms, Dick introduced Tony to the rest of his “Teen Titans”.

“I do not understand,” Aqua Lad said, scrubbing at himself with river water the rest of the team wouldn’t touch. (“I think the water smells worse than the goop,” Robin said, sniffing his cape and wrinkling his nose.) “Aqua Man had told me the Avengers would be assisting the League today.”

“Yeah,” Tony said. “Well, I don’t really get along with-” He glanced over at Robin, “Um... some members of the League. It’s my tragic past or something. Besides, someone has to hold down the fort and keep you kids out of trouble, right?”

Kid Flash looked indignant, while Wonder Girl’s glare spoke of painful and precise murder. Right. _Teen_ Titans probably weren’t into being called “kids”.

“Hey, post-monster-killing celebratory pizza on me?” Tony tried to look hopeful, and yeah, everyone looked must less interested in dismantling him now. “We can go back to the mansion?”

That one cleared everything up.

Once all of the kids (teens, teenagers, young adults, right) had showered and been outfitted with robes to wear over their passable underclothes, Tony gave them an abbreviated tour (“Yeah, we’ll just skip this hallway,” Tony said, stepping back over the tripwire he’d instinctively avoided. “Black Widow sleeps in the bedroom at the end.”) By the time they were done, the pizza had arrived and soon Tony was laid out in his usual spot, feet up on the sofa, because these fine things were _his_ and he could abuse them if he wanted. Robin, still in his mask but otherwise looking comfortable, flopped down at the end to watch Kid Flash devour his pizza in the slightly disturbing way you’d expect from a teenage boy with an accelerated metabolism.

“How can you _watch_ that?” Tony asked in awe. “Also, how can you keep that mask on?”

“Adhesive,” Robin grinned. “Batman says if I get in the habit of taking it off outside HQ, I could wind up doing it in front of someone I shouldn’t, and that could endanger not just us, but everyone we know.” He frowned thoughtfully, and then looked down to pick at the edge of the couch cushion. “Do you think it’s more fun, having everyone know who you are?”

“Fun is not the word. _Flying_ is fun,” Tony said, matching his smile to Robin’s and knowing they agreed on this. “It’s easier, in some ways, because I do most of my heroing during the day, and I have a business, and eventually it would get noticed if I kept missing meetings at the same time Iron Man was caught fighting a giant robot, and also did you know superheroes totally have groupies? All you secret-identity types are _really_ missing out there. I’m lucky I guess because I have no one that can be used against me,” and the chuckle there sounds forced even to him, but might pass muster with the younger crowd at least. “My best friends are a computer, Captain America, and Pepper Potts. You met Pepper.”

The kid snorted a laugh, kicking his bare feet against the side of the couch. “That’d be like someone kidnapping _Batgirl_ to get to me. They’d have more trouble with her than I could ever give them.”

Nodding, Tony realized that the pizza had disappeared and was presumably now fueling the kid who looked to be _vibrating in his chair_. “Jarvis,” Tony said. “Put on a movie, please, and make it something R-rated.”

“Aww yeah,” said Kid Flash, bouncing. “Popcorn?”

“And popcorn,” Tony added.

Tony was startled awake seemingly a moment later by a large hand resting on his shoulder. He looked around in confusion, noticing that the movie had ended. Aqua Lad and Wonder Girl were slumped together in the arm chair, and Robin was sound asleep at the other end of the couch, frowning faintly under his mask.

“I found the other one in the kitchen,” Steve said from behind him. “Making a sandwich the size of Hulk’s head. I didn’t know we were taking in strays.”

“Tony Stark’s School for Gifted Youngsters,” Tony said, rubbing his head back into Cap’s hand until he started scratching Tony’s head properly. “They followed me home. Can’t I keep them?”

“No, I’m pretty sure they all have homes and families to go back to, and I’m also certain that fourth one would eat even you out of house and home.”

“I keep up with Bruce and Thor’s needs,” Tony said indignantly, then pointed down the couch. “What if we just kept that one?”

The space between Steve’s eyebrows wrinkled very profoundly when he frowned, something Tony always noticed and somewhat perversely enjoyed. “You do realize they aren’t _actually_ pets, right?”

Tony chose to ignore that question, and instead prodded Robin with his toes. The kid jerked alert immediately, hands grasping at his waist for weapons he didn’t have, which made Tony feel vaguely guilty for waking him. “Hey Rob,” he said. “I hate to kick you guys out but your uniforms should be dry and Captain Boyscout here says it’s past curfew.”

Robin nodded, turning to Tony, and then froze his gaze somewhere over his shoulder. Tony couldn’t actually see his eyes widen with the lenses down on the mask, but he could guess. He smirked, remembering his thoughts about bringing Dick home to meet Steve at Bruce’s party. “Oh,” he said, pure innocence dripping from every word. “Have you guys not met? Robin, this is Captain Steve Rogers, A.K.A. Captain America. Steve - Robin.”

Robin jumped up promptly from his seat to shake Steve’s hand, blushing and holding his robe tightly closed with the other. “Pleased to meet you, Captain Rogers.”

“You can call me Steve.” He smiled like apple pie wouldn’t melt in his mouth, the smile that launched a thousand propaganda posters. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Robin, not just from Tony but from Superman as well.

“Gosh,” Robin said breathlessly, to Tony’s delight. He was tempted to steeple his fingers and cackle, a mostly-benevolent mastermind.

“I hope Tony has been a good host,” Steve said, like he hadn’t just opened his mouth and let this kid’s dreams spill out. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get back sooner so we could talk more, but maybe you and your team would like to come back some time and use the training room? Superman said you were a very talented acrobat.”

“Oh, do you guys do that stuff?” Robin asked excitedly. “I’d love to do some training here. Do you have a pommel horse? We have uneven bars at HQ, and a balance beam. Do you do martial arts? Watch this!” He jumped to the back of the sofa, then went into a backflip before landing into a horse stance.

Then he realized that his robe had come untied and everyone - Steve, Tony, the newly-awakened Aqua Lad and Wonder Girl, _and_ Kid Flash, standing in the doorway from the kitchen - had all seen his Superman boxers.

“Gee, we should really get going,” he said, wrapping the robe tightly around himself and trying to hide his red face in his own chest. “Titans, dressed and back to the tower to review today’s mission.” He paused and nodded to Steve. “It was nice meeting you.”

“You’re out of lunch meat,” Kid Flash said as he trotted by them. “Sorry.”

When the last one had headed out the double doors, Steve finally stopped waving and turned away. “Tony,” he asked slowly. “Why were all those teenagers undressed?”

=--=

 _Dear Batman,  
Please send to Avengers Mansion immediately one boy, codename “Robin”, care of Tony Stark-_

No.

 _My Dearest Brucie,  
Just writing to let you know I simply **adored** meeting your ward at that party you had  
four years ago. What a pip! We have recently become reacquainted and-_

No.

 _Dear Mr. Wayne,  
Can Dickie come out to play? I promise to have him home before dark._

No.

 _Batman-  
I am writing you to humbly request the presence of your ~~sidekick~~ partner, Robin, at  
Avengers Mansion for a training exercise, beginning at 10 A.M. and running until question  
marks._

Oh, for Christ’s sake.

 _To: Batman  
℅: Superman_

 _My apologies for contacting you this way, but Tony was quite insistent that a formal letter was  
the proper thing to do._

 _I recently had the honor of meeting your partner, Robin, for the first time, and he is a very  
impressive young man. I know you are probably very proud of him._

 _Tony has told me that he was fond of Robin from their first meeting, apparently before he  
 **was** Robin. He is a bright boy and reminds me in some inexplicable way of my boyhood  
friend, Bucky, whom I lost in the war._

 _Tony feels, as I agree, that with the number of younger heroes on the rise and cooperation  
between teams increasing as new threats emerge, the Avengers would greatly benefit from  
experience working and training with someone like Robin and his teammates in the Teen Titans._

 _As a result, we would like to invite Robin to come stay with us at the mansion this coming  
weekend, to train and accompany us on any missions that might arise._

 _Please write back at your convenience._

 _Sincerely,  
Captain America_

 _P.S. - Ask Dick if he prefers Skittle or M &Ms. And tell him to bring a sleeping bag!_

 _Love,  
Tony Stark_

Bruce looked from Clark’s ridiculously large, even smile to Dick’s hopeful, wide-eyed face and  
sighed. “ _Really?_ ”


End file.
